London on Sunday

Actually, it's Tuesday - but my cousin started writing a song for me about flying to London on Sunday, so I thought that would be a great title to my latest post.

Adrienne and I arrived safely to our Stamford Street residence - home for the next five weeks - yesterday. The flight was uneventful - except for some up-chucking by the lady next to Adrienne as soon as we landed.

I wasn't impressed with AA: they didn't show any of the movies they promised in their in-flight magazine, the in-flight entertainment system itself hasn't been upgraded since the 80's. Really, I remember sitting on the arm rest as a child straining to see the small box TV screens while mom and dad slept, that was 20 years ago. They only came through the cabin once with landing cards - so if you were snoozing, too bad. There wasn't a vegetarian option unless you requested it in advance. BUT - they got us here safely, and that's what matters.

Yesterday feels like a dream, I was in such a daze - even after sleeping the whole flight. It was just one of those sleeps where you know you got some, but it didn't register with your mind. So, bedtime came early last night.

I was up at 4am - mind racing. I forced myself back to sleep and got up at 7:30, excited for my first London run this summer...it was raining. And I forgot my raincoat. Bummer. Change of plans. Umbrella. Coffee run.

As I stood in line at Starbucks at Waterloo, in my workout gear, watching all the business men and women briskly walk by, it hit me again - I feel most "at home" anywhere but my passport country.I'm noticing a theme and if you've read any of my blog before you might have noticed too. I have to live abroad.

Now I'm thinking about what to put on our "to do" list today. Several of the other faculty arrive later this afternoon, that will be great, adn hopefully that means more hands to help out! We shall see.

this is what it feels like to live a double life...

I feel like I'm living someone else's life, actually, rather than a double-life. At least that's how I feel at the moment.

I left for France three months ago. There's a post in my dashboard that I started while waiting in the Gulfport airport, but I never published it. I re-read it just now, everything is different.

Everything different than how I left it. For the better though, so much better in some respects.

There are no words to describe The Abbey Program 2010. The students were awesome, so were the faculty, the people in the town...

Now it all feels like a dream. It's like I'm returning from my own study abroad experience again, but 6 years ago it wasn't this difficult. Or maybe I've blocked it out of my memory.

I'm back in my house - a house which I barely lived in after I bought it before moving to France. My best friend and room mate is engaged and I'm the M.O.H. (very exciting) and must research how to be a good one of those. A friend had a baby. I have a new supervisor at work and Laura Messer is moving to Austin (congrats Laura!). I'm in a different relationship than when I left - and this time I fell super hard, which is so much more than scary. My sister graduated suma cum laude from college and starts grad school in the fall. I start back to school in June.

I've been back in the U.S. a week now and I still find myself searching for familiar faces from what feels like a previous life now - my previous life in France. Jaffe Cropper came to visit me in the office and all these emotions flooded in proving that it all really happened. Thank God. Chelsea Lewis came in too - and didn't even give me time to stand up for a hug. My eyes misted over immediately. It is so rewarding to be a part of the experience these amazing students go through abroad.

I can't surround myself with enough photographs from the past three months.

The upside to all of this (what I'm viewing as the upside, anyway) is that in just one month I'll be back en route to Europe again - London, this time, for the British Studies Program. Perhaps that will provide a refreshing breath, enough to sustain me for 5 months back "home" before another Abbey Program.

Hmm. That's all for now.

My first house...

I bought a house.

What?

I know...big commitment.

I need to put some pictures up, I realize this. The problem is that so far the only time I've had to get over there since closing last week is at night. And let's face it, night starts at 6pm these days so there's no time for sunshine during the week when work is from 8-5. I don't want to take night time pictures. This weekend it will happen though. Photos will happen and so will A LOT OF PAINTING.

I was able to knock out my bedroom and bathroom ceiling, all the trim in those areas, doors to my bedroom and bathroom - in two hours tonight. By myself...with an inflamed sciatic nerve, don't ask about that, it's a sore subject. Or, as a friend said more eloquently, "it's a pain in the ass".

Backing up - closing went well. I mean, I've only been to one, so I guess it went well. Everyone seemed happy. Kim was SO awesome and came with me. I was feeling pretty nervous (not sure why, I was only signing my life away) beforehand and once I knew she would be there for moral support I felt a lot better. The person collecting all the signatures said I "cracked her up" because I was so calm...what was I supposed to do?

This happened during the session-of-signing-my-life-over:

Seller's realtor: "were you three (Kim, me and Sharee, one of the sellers) in the same sorority in school?"

Us: "Yes"

Seller's realtor: "oh that's so wonderful. What sorority?"

Us: "Alpha Delta Pi"

Seller's realtor: "I was an ADPi!"

So awesome.

This weekend is HALLOWEEN! Hopefully I'll find time to dress up and have a bit of fun too! Maybe I'll go as a homeowner, covered in paint...(lame?)

Goals for this week and weekend: TAKE PICTURES. Finish the ceilings in all rooms, trim all over house, and tape down. Perhaps prime in as many areas as possible if all of the above gets done...I'm hoping my friends will come help!

Then, Mr. Thomas (Kim's dad) is coming to help a few days next week - YES! I am forever indebted to that family. I love them as my own. Aw.

Wish me luck!

Grad School...

"May I ask why are you in graduate school?" he asked...this man I recently met.

This question bothered me for a multitude of reasons. The primary reason probably being because it made me second guess my decision to start graduate school now - while working full time, traveling to France each spring, advising the Eta Zeta Chapter, and attempting to maintain a social life of sorts...

Not only that, it made me second guess my decision to "nest" in Hattiesburg for a few years. I decided to buy a house, a house I'm VERY excited about, but nevertheless I started second-guessing myself.

I started second guessing my entire reason for living my life the way I am.

"Aren't they paying for 6 hours at a time, Jess?" asked a fellow graduate student pursuing her Doctoral degree in Communication Studies. "Yes, they are paying for 6 hours at a time." "Well, THAT'S why you're doing it now! Why not take advantage of that while you can? This is a great time to do that - and besides, if you hadn't started this semester we would have never met." [grin] - so true.

I've come to terms with it now, I think it's healthy to meet people who ask simple questions that challenge everything you think you've learned to a certain point. It intrigues me to have met someone who challenges my very being...too bad this person is a man, that always complicates things. [sigh]

The reason I sat down to finally post after being silent for many months? I have an assignment due in three days. I have to choose a topic to research, present the rationale for the study, then create a proposal for the study, research questions, sub-questions and method. And I've been over-stressing about this seemingly minute task (or so says the professor).

And what does this mystery man who challenges me to question my very existence and purpose in life have to do with my research topic?

After some self-reflection, and some reminding myself that I'm not "here" forever, that this too is a temporary nesting place for me, that it is OKAY for me to stay in one place for a while even if the rest of my life experience contradicts that, and that my nesting place for now can be America, Mississippi, Hattiesburg, for the time being, I started to think about people like me. I started to wonder if others have had this same discussion with themselves. Do other TCKs ever fully adjust to life at "home" in America?

So I hopped on the computer to research TCKs and to look at research that already exists. I decided if I found enough support, I might like to propose further research on Third Culture Kids and their identity, successes in life, re-entry into their "home" country (according to their passport)...I haven't come up with a specific topic yet, nor a rationale for studying this group of people, but I did stumble across an article that caught my eye. Specifically this paragraph:

"The answer to the question of how long it takes them to adjust to American life is: they never adjust. They adapt, they find niches, they take risks, they fail and pick themselves up again. They succeed in jobs they have created to fit their particular talents, they locate friends with whom they can share some of their interests, but they resist being encapsulated. Their camouflaged exteriors and understated ways of presenting themselves hide the rich inner lives, remarkable talents, and often strongly held contradictory opinions on the world at large and the world at hand."
For the entire article visit: http://www.iss.edu/pages/kids.html

Again, I was already feeling very satisfied with my answer to the question posed at the beginning of this post, and to the sub-questions that then arose from it. But, this article reinforced a feeling of pride, self-understanding and calmness in me - specifically the paragraph above. It sums up my thoughts and experiences here. It sums up what I feel my entire life will be, a constant adaptation to my surroundings.

Now, if I could only come up with a way to propose a research study related to all of this thinking I'm already doing!

"There's only sex and money"

As I sit sit on the Jubilee line heading back toward Waterloo station from Canary Wharf, suddenly I'm thinking of something to seriously consider: living in a major city for a few years...

You're probably considering the title of this post and thinking, "what the hell is she about to say?" - don't worry, this post has very little to do with sex or money.

I just left a fantastic date and am on to my last night "farewell" gathering on the Southbank.

My date was with a Chilean man I met through a mutual friend, so intriguing and so fun, and I'm sad we met as late as we did because I think we would have a lot of fun together. An old, old friend came to visit my last weekend in London and her friend (the Chilean) joined us at The Globe for "As You Like It". I'll just say that I definitely noticed him that night.

Two days later I received a text, from the Chilean. I hadn't given him my number. My friend did. Apparently there was some chatter on the inter-office online network and my number had been passed along. Anyway, the date was great. He is great. And he'll go so far in life. I only hope to stay in touch - after such a short time knowing each other.

Back to the title of this post...Suddenly, the high coming off that international date, coupled with my reflection in the tube window and the married man reading "there's only sex and money" next to me (maybe that has no relevance, but it moved me nonetheless) had me fantasizing about life in a major city with an underground network.

Just something to consider...

Priscilla Queen of the Desert, The Musical...

We went to see Priscilla. I'm not sure what was more entertaining:

A) The fact that our seats were ABOVE the disco ball which was ceiling level - it didn't end up mattering - the glitter and glam could have been seen from the MOON.

B) We couldn't see the front of the stage...again, this didn't stop us from dancing in the aisles.

C) The three lovely-very-straight gentlemen that propped down in the row below us. The amusing part was watching them realize they'd just bought tickets to a drag show.

D) The beautiful man above: Rupert Everett (My Best Friend's Wedding, A Midsummer Night's Dream). Holly screamed from the stairs when she saw him as we exited the building. I thought something was dreadfully wrong until I saw her excited face gasping for oxygen and then heard the couple next to us whisper (in a dramatic British accent) "OH. MY. GOD." I turned to look and only saw a crowd of people. But then, in the middle all the other beautiful men stood the most beautiful one (aside from the ones on stage in drag). There stood, Rupert Everett! Sigh. We most certainly got his autograph. As I was purchasing the show's soundtrack he walked by. And as he was walking towards us, Holly was frantically searching for a pen and paper. Alas...her made-of-100%-recyclable-materials-holds-all-you-could-ever-want-or-need satchel is not the kindest when you're searching for anything in a hurry. I produced pen and ticket stub. Rupert signed it. Beautiful beautiful. Yes, he has aged but who doesn't? I suppose Demi, Cher, the original Priscilla perhaps...but that's another topic for another day. He looked smashing without even trying. And it was wonderful.

But who does the autograph belong to??

Priscilla Queen of the Desert, The Musical...I loved it even without having seen the movie. I loved it for all of the above. It was more than a theatrical performance, it was simply sensational.

FriendOfMuslim

If you've kept up with my blog, you know by now that I grew up in what some might call: predominantly Islamic countries. Many have always feared for my families safety in these "predominantly Islamic countries". I have never felt safer anywhere else. It should come as no surprise that I am an open individual when it comes to race and religion.

People who don't know me, don't know that about me. So, they don't know that I might not react the same way they do when it comes to certain topics like: global warming, immigration, France, but more importantly for this post: the fear of Islam overtaking the world. To be quite honest, I have many Muslim friends who live their lives just as faithfully if not more faithfully than my "Christian" friends. But, I'm not going to make this an argument about religion, about who is right or wrong, what path you should take - I am not one to force my values or beliefs on anyone and I will not do that here.

I received an email from someone who my office has done business with. I had never personally communicated with the organization until joining our team full time this past January. We set up a week stay for some students from a university in the U.K. to come over and perform Katrina relief work on the Gulf Coast and surrounding areas. Over the course of the exchange I might have sent and received a total of 7 emails regarding our business transaction/schedule...and it was the last email I received, after all was said and done, that bothered me the most.

The subject was "THIS IS WORTH WATCHING!!!!!!!"

The text body said:

Watch this before they take it down...

I've exhausted searches on the internet and found that the info seems to be true, as far as available data is available. Why it isn't the topic of the day is surprising.

Log on and watch this video in privacy as soon as possible, as it will surely be hacked and brought down when it is discovered by extremists as they surely won't want us to know this info. If possible, save to your hard drive so that you may send it yourself in case that happens. I have verified that it is currently virus free, but make sure your virus scanned is on when watching it.

It is VERY disturbing info that all Americans should see - Democrat & Republican. This is a not a slam against our government or our President, it is something we need to understand and rally around ourselves.

[Link deleted]

It is info that you may want to pass on to your Pastor, so that they may pass it on themselves. I understand that some Pastors are playing this in Sunday services across the nation and building a series of Sunday sermons around it. Do with it as you seem fit.

Feel free to reply with whatever feedback with how it makes you feel. Absolutely pass this email on to your list of email addresses.

Thank you for your attention.

Immediately I thought, "I probably shouldn't watch this..." The person who uploaded the video goes by "FriendOfMuslim". I knew it would likely irritate me. So, of course curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on the link.

The video started out with facts (all facts go un-cited, I might add) concerning the reproduction rate of various nations. Several in Europe, the Middle East and then also in Canada and the U.S. Apparently a certain reproduction rate must be reached for a population to sustain its culture. And the frightening point this video attempts to get across is that the Islamic world nations are reproducing twice as fast as the United States. "Our children's world will be unlike anything we experience in our world today".

What's interesting is that suddenly the United States' "culture" includes the Latino population (because they are predominently Catholic) - which I find amusing because the people who made and believe this video likely do NOT consider the Latino population of the U.S. as "their own" [white] culture...well, until the threat of the Islamic world is upon us, as this video portrays.

Is that what some call a double standard? I'm not sure...

From all of the "facts" and quotes in this video, the message I received was: if you are Christian, go out and procreate. We must sustain our population. The Islamic world will take over if we do not continue to reproduce our race/religion.

Now, tell me how that makes sense...? I can't go out and procreate in my current single state - that would be frowned upon, wouldn't it - but if it were in the name of "sustaining our culture"?

What the video fails to address is the question of, "why is Islam the largest growing religion world wide?" Why?

I didn't respond to the email, although I spent a good 30 minutes coming up with various responses, but none of them could explain why this forward was so offensive to me without offending the person who sent it to me. And, my point is not to offend - ANYONE.

Please, remember to think about who you forward things to - especially when you don't know the recipient from Adam...we all know what ass-u-me'ing does to a person. And, if you are going to foward a message, it might be good to check the facts, and ask certain questions...