As a kid, mom and dad took care of all the details. My sister and I were given decision-making power when it came to our toys and things - what to keep, what to sell or give-away.
As a responsible adult, "familiar with" moving, and only planning to move UP this country, the move to Noho, MA should be pretty simple...right?
Only this time I'm not just moving myself. Remember to factor in that I'm moving a cat who despises being in her crate and a fiancée. A fiancée with a fully furnished four bedroom house. And remember, I have a house, too.
Just stopping here to breath, thinking about the logistics and what needs to happen, you might think it's a good place to "stress out". Just the fact that there are two households is one thing. But fiancée equals even more life changes approaching. It also means wedding planning from a distance. Girl, are you crazy? No. I'm not.
And furthermore, NO! No, there is no reason to "stress out". Ever. Yes I know I stress from time to time but hear me out. I've decided the only thing that stresses people out is themselves and their decision to react that way. There's no reason for it at all. What good will it do? Choose to work it out. Stop. Think. And I mean that, you can't run away from it, you can't turn it off, you must think (and often times talk) things through.
So, the fact that there is a very large move coming up, the fact that there are two households to move, the fact that animals are involved, the fact that it will take 3 days on the road, the fact that Markus travels every week for work and has no time to call his own between work and volunteer positions and my talking his ear off about "planning" and all I want to do is take care of everything for everyone so no one has to stress about anything...
Take a breath. I'm talking to you, this isn't me telling myself to breathe, it's for you. You're welcome.
All of those facts/things/thoughts COULD cause reason for a mental breakdown. But what would that accomplish? All of those things COULD case reason for short tempers and snarky conversations. But that's a choice you make.
Additionally, I've decided that when people expect this sort of behavior because after all, how can one NOT be stressed by all of those seemingly stressful things? they look for you to be short, snarky and irritable. They ask leading questions assuming that can only be the case and you reaction can only be that of a stressed-out-person. This is irritating. Stop it. Instead of assuming one can only be having an awful time with an exciting and positive life adventure such as this, how about asking your question with a positive spin?
People move. Life happens. Things change. And your point is?
- We don't have a place to live.
- We don't have enough time to say goodbye properly, with parties.
- Markus has to sell a house and yes you should inquire about it, it's beautiful and perfectly located in Ocean Springs, MS.
- My cat HATES to travel.
- Markus has no time to pack.
- There's a chance we won't get to move all our "stuff" until the end of July and I may have to live with people without my "stuff" for several weeks.
- It's going to be cold where we are going.
- We don't know anyone. That's not entirely true.
- Blah blah blah-dy-flippity-da!
Again, your point is?
No, I don't know how all of it is going to work yet, but that's OKay and somewhat thrilling. I know, I know, heaven forbid Jessica Lamb doesn't have a plan!? Part of what makes me great at what I do PS: my job basically deals with planning international moves, albeit weeks at a time is my ability to remain calm, to talk things out, to think foreword before "the stress" has a chance to wrap it's wretchedness around my productivity and need for efficiency. Do I make things harder for myself sometimes? Yes - that stresses me out but it's my own fault, no one else's... read: I have a huge problem asking for, and accepting, help. It makes me feel weak.
- We have flights booked to BDL to spend just over 24 hours in Noho looking for a place to live this Sunday-Monday. We have a rental car and a hotel room booked, too, ALL for under $500 thanks to Markus' frequent flyer miles and the transfer of my remaining few thousand to his account.
- I have sold my couch, love seat, dining room table and chairs, a chiminea, and several other odds and ends to help cover these exploration expenses.
- We're not saying "goodbye", it's "see you later" and we'll be back!
- Kudzu can and will be drugged.
- I lived out of a suitcase for 5 months in a row as an ADPi consultant, what's four weeks out of the rest of my life?
For me? Personally? No.
The things I "stress" about usually revolve around those around me:
- Will my fiancée divorce me before we're even married because of this monkey-wrench that's now thrown into our life-plan right after he started a new job and in the middle of his busy travel season?
- Will I accidentally give Kudzu too many drugs?
- Are my future parents-in-law still excited I said "yes"?
- Will my friends be able to handle my absence? I realize how cocky, self-important and big-headed that sounds, but I have some REALLY good friends and they mean THE WORLD to me, and we are equally good to each other! Don't think for one minute I won't miss them, but this is what I do, I come and go, I always have. That doesn't mean it's easy. I hate missing out on life events. Hate it. But Markus and I will go and make our own life events. And I will blog about everything.
- Are my parents really excited to drive all that way? Or do they just feel obligated to help?